AFC East
*New England Patriots: Brad Pitt
Continues to excel. Loved by the media on all ends. Constantly in the spot light. Has its downs but always comes back strong.
*New York Jets: Jessica Biel
Have plenty of redeeming qualities and a great asset, but never seem to be able to put it all together.
*Miami Dolphins: Madonna
They were very popular and successful in the past. Recently have not had nearly the success. Had a few down years. Now use unusual means to remain relevant and competitive.
*Buffalo Bills: Mario Lopez
Highly popular, loved and adored in the early 90’s. Since has been mediocre taking whatever they can to get by and remain in the limelight.
AFC North
*Pittsburgh Steelers: Robert De Niro
A usually hard-nosed persona has lightened up recently and adapted to the changing world. Still performing at a top level.
*Baltimore Ravens: Mark Wahlberg
A tough in-your-face personality. Has an off year every once and a while, but perennially strong.
*Cincinnati Bengals: Nick Nolte
Has fallen on hard times recently. Shows signs of resurrection but you can feel another collapse coming if they don't stay focues
*Cleveland Browns: Rosie O’Donnell
Just plain ugly. Never has been good and is getting worse.
AFC South
*Indianapolis Colts: Will Smith
Has been a picture of success for the last decade. Year in and year out, they create winner after winner. Don’t have many weaknesses and will continue to succeed in the future.
*Tennessee Titans: Colin Ferrell
Manages to fool everyone into thinking they are good by having a solid performance every once and a while. Completely awful at points and show their true colors.
*Houston Texans: Jessica Alba
Everyone always has big hopes for them, but they usually just end up being average.
*Jacksonville Jaguars: Sarah Michelle Gellar
Has had a few good things here and there. Never spectacular. Has also had a few bad things too.
AFC West
*Denver Broncos: Justin Timberlake
Young, popular and successful. Got dumped by an ex, to only move on to another and succeed. Seem to lack many weaknesses and should be successful for years to come.
*San Diego Chargers: Charlize Theron
Always looks good. Consistent year in and year out but never can stand above the rest. Will need to make some drastic changes and go ugly to win the big one.
*Oakland Raiders: Michael Douglas
Historically great in the past. Things seem to be getting worse year after year. Looks like they are almost dead at this point.
*Kansas City Chiefs: Lindsay Lohan
Has been up and down for years, now is just plain terrible. Has long road ahead to recovery.
NFC East
*New York Giants: Barack Obama
Vastly supported yet very polarizing. As many people hate him as well as
love him. Recently lost some support due to poor performances, but still as solid as ever.*Philadelphia Eagles: Bruce Willis
Have been tough and consistently solid for the past 20 years or so. Still great today.
*Dallas Cowboys: Jennifer Love Hewitt
Loved by some, hated by others. Continues to be popular over the last 15-20 years. A lot on the surface, but yet to do anything of significance. Not much beyond outer shell and media hype.
*Washington Redskins: Paris Hilton
Lots of money. No real amount of talent but continues to be in the public eye and is always in the news.
NFC North
*Minnesota Vikings: Charlie Sheen
Have faced legal trouble in the past. Are doing great as of now.
*Green Bay Packers: Jennifer Aniston
Team everyone loves to love. Everyone is pulling for them since
the biggest thing to happen to them left them for another.*Chicago Bears: Bill Murray
Was awesome in the 80’s. Haven’t done much recently except 1 good year.
*Detroit Lions: Hugh Grant
Will always be associated with 1 particular VERY embarrassing thing from their past, not matter how much success they may have in the future.
NFC South
*New Orleans Saints: Shia LeBeouf
Recently became popular. Seems to be unstoppable at this point. Puts big numbers on the board every time out.
*Atlanta Falcons: Megan Fox
Jumped onto the scene as the new hot thing. All over the media. Still yet to prove they are for real and will be successful for a while.
*Carolina Panthers: Jennifer Lopez
Have been successful since entering the scene in the 90’s. Recently been publicly scrutinized for decision making.
*Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tobey Maguire
Other then a short time frame in the 2000’s, they never really have been good.
NFC West
*Arizona Cardinals: John Travolta
After years of poor performance, shocked the world with an impressive improvement when taking advantage of a little good luck.
*San Francisco 49ers: Robert Downey Jr.
Was great in the 90’s. Had a very public falling out and years of hardship. Has drastically changed themselves as they push towards the top again.
*Seattle Seahawks: Keanu Reeves
One minute can put up something great. They next be absolutely terrible.
*St. Louis Rams: Pamela Anderson
Couldn't be stopped a few years ago. Now they are terrible and really only have 1 thing worth looking at.
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