NFL commissioner Roger Goodell seemed to not have done his research before he made his decision on the Super Bowl Halftime Show this year. If you have not heard, The Who will be preforming at Halftime of Super Bowl XLIV this Sunday. Goodell thought this choice would manage to follow the theme that the NFL has followed since the infamous Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" of Super Bowl XXXVIII of "safe" and "conservative". What
Goodell didn't realize is that Pete Townshend of The Who was on the "Watchdog" list for the UK for 5 years from 2003-2008, due to child pornography being found on his computer. Townshend claimed it was in research of a book he was doing. Now, a local child advocacy group is passing out fliers among 1,500 homes near Dolphin Stadium to warn the local people of an arrested pedophile being there. In light of the situation, Roger Goodell has decided to change his plans for the Super Bowl Halftime Show.The new plan is to highlight someone that has not received enough media attention, Tim Tebow. Tebow spent all of last week at the Senior Bowl practices, showing of his skills for NFL scouts. Despite already being claimed as a saint in the state of Florida, some critics feel he does not have all the necessary skills to play as a pro QB. One team scout said, "Tim reads defenses slower than a 2-year would read The Wallstreet Journal... cover to cover."
In order to shed some positive light on Tebow, the NFL thought it could show his other attributes in order to increase his likeliness of being drafter early. Tebow had planned to have a anti-abortion commercial shown during the Super Bowl, but several liberal groups are STRONGLY urging CBS not to show it. Since the commercial might not air, the NFL jumped into action. Goodell said, "He (Tebow) is a fan favorite and the media orgasms every time they talk about him. We need to keep him relevant as long as possible. His college skills have little to no transfer ability into the NFL, so we hope to fool a bad GM into drafting him in the 1st or 2nd round. That way we will be able to get plenty of media attention going his way."Goodell claims that the goal of the halftime show is to "Show off all of the other skills Tebow has that have nothing to do with being an NFL QB". It is scheduled to include an interpretive dance to show off Tim's intangibles, him reading a children's book to kids to show his ability to read a defense, a live circumcision of a Haitian refugee to show good hands, and then Tebow will instruct a group of boy scouts on how to tie knots to show is amazing leadership skills.
In an exclusive interview with an enthusiastic Tebow, he stated, "Yeah this should be great. I hope after I finish
this presentation, scouts will be able to look past my awful footwork, atrocious mechanics and delivery, and my terrible accuracy. I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this. You will never see a person in the country work as hard as I will on this. You will never see someone push those kids to tie knots during this competition as hard as I will. God bless."
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