The last game a Mellon Arena

The Pittsburgh Penguins decided last night to hand over the last game ever played at Mellon Arena. The same place that housed some of hockey's greatest players (Lemieux, Jagr) and hosted many more (Gretzky, Brodeur, Yzerman), was given a farewell from its team the equivalent of an uninvited money shot.

After watching the horrid display from last night, and because I am uncreative, I decided to post a mental diary of the game.

At 7:00 pm, my friend Jake and I attempt to walk into Carson City Saloon, but it is so packed the fire marshal should have been involved. Jake and I decided to walk down the street to the ATM, then probably go to a different bar. As we stop so Jake can feed his bad habit (smoking) I receive a text from my friend in Altoona saying "you have got to be shitting me". I knew already they had given up a shitty goal very early into the game.

As we walk into the bar, it is about 5 minutes into the game. (I will display everything in hockey time, counting up from 0:00 through the period)

1st Period
4:59 Halak has just made a long save on an Alex Goligoski shot. My friend and I buy beers and get ready to watch what will become a loooooong slow death.

7:28 Gonchar draws a penalty. The Pens have been very good on the power play this entire post season. This was not a night for that. 1:30 into the power play, they only had 1 shot, turned over the puck and Fleury had to make a save short handed.

14:23 Terrible defense allows for a quick wristshot by Dominic Moore and Montreal is suddenly up 2-0. You could just feel the air get sucked out of the Mellon Arena like MegaMaid from Spaceballs.
(Up 2-0, Montreal is pretty much impossible to beat. They go into a heavily defensive setting. They start launching shots on Fleury from the blue line to force Pittsburgh to push the puck around behind their own net. They also keep their defensemen back far and play a man at center ice. Every time the Pens try taking the puck into the offensive zone, it gets taken away.)

20:00 Period ends. The place is so quite, you can hear Malkin's parents struggling to speak English.

2nd Period
3:32 Pittsburgh continues put play lifeless. Chris Kunitz turns the puck over. Montreal snaps a quick shot and suddenly its 3-0.
(At this point the bar is in shock. I look at Jake and say "We will do a shot for every Pens goal. It will be perfect, because if they come back and win this, I will need at least 4 shots." )

3:59 Montreal goes to the box for roughing Gonchar. Pens have a fantastic chance to make this a 2 goal game with over half the game left. Plenty of time to make a comeback, especially with their talent. But....

5:14 Chris Kunitz has another terrible turnover leading to a fast break. Travis Moen has a 1 on 3 short handed, shoots a shitty little floating shot at Fleury.... AND IT GOES IN!!! 4-0 Canadians 26 minutes into the game. This is unreal. I have not seem Pens fans this deflated since before the lockout.
(Two things happened here: (1) This is the WORST goal I have ever seen. Ever. It starts out with a bad turnover on a power play they desperately needed down 3-0 in game 7 at home. Then no one pressures the puck as he easily skates in against a 1 on 3. Then the puck just floats into the net. (2) Fleury was absolutely horrible last night. Definitely the worst I have seen him in a while. He allowed 3 really bad goals. I always try to support him, even when he has a bad game, but last night was inexcusable. You wanna have a bad game on December 12th, thats ok. You cannot have a bad game on May 12th, in game 7, at home.)

(The bar is starting to fill up. The people walking in are looking at the screen like there was a natural disaster. )

5:14 Fleury gets pulled.
(The bar erupts in applause. This is the first clapping I have heard since I got there. Not a good sign)

6:08 Brent Johnson makes a save and the crowd gets excited.
(People begin talking about other things. The focus goes off the game, but the whole bar has a tension. Like something could happen any minute and the Pens could make a run.)

7:41 After 2 quick shots on net by the Penguins there is a stoppage in play and a TV timeout.
(The energy in the bar is growing and you can feel Mellon Arena waking up.)

8:36 Letang missed the net wide, the puck rolls to the left side and... BOOM! Chris Kunitz finally gets one past Halak.
(The bar erupts! I have never seen a place more excited to be down by 3 goals. We are all saying the same thing, "Pens need one more before the end of the period. If they get that, they are definitely in it!")

12:06 The Penguins are gaining momentum. There is an icing on Pittsburgh that bring it back down to their end.

13:31 Brent Johnson makes another save and freezes the puck.
(The noise grows.)

13:49 Roman Hamerlik is whistled for holding.
(The crown approves.)

14:09 Blocked shot

15:03 Blocked shot

15: 46 Gonchar blasts a shot from the point. Halak makes a good save, but you can just feel a goal coming.

16:30 Shot from the point is redirected by Jordan Stahl... GOAL!!!!
(We have ourselves a game folks. Mellon Arena is rocking and Pittsburgh has all the momentum now.)

16:48 Brent Johnson makes a huge save.
(The crowd continues to roar.)

17:47 Goligoski ripped a slapper from the point. Halak makes a save. The crowd is going absolutely insane. Lets go to commercial.
(This was by far the best part of the game. When they return from commercial, they show Malkin's dad, standing up, waving a white towel like a mad man and screaming "LETS GO PENS!". So is the entire crowd. The place is absolutely bonkers.)

19:00 Tyler Kennedy and Mike Cammalleri get into a scuffle and each get 2 minutes for roughing. 4 on 4 hockey, where Pittsburgh excels.
(Everyone again is saying, "If we can get one more before the end of the period we can win this game!")

19:50 Pascal Dupius gets cross checked and draws a penalty. Pittsburgh is about to get 1:30 of 4 on 3. This is the time to strike.

20:00 They loose the faceoff, and the period ends.

3rd Period
0:00 Pittsburgh is riding high off of the 2nd period.

0:27 Slapshot by Malkin; saved!
0:28 Crosby rebound, saved again!
(Halak has returned to being a brick wall at this point. He has let 2 in, but has also made several big saves. These start to push the momentum back to Montreal.)

6:40 Hal Gill FINALLY gets called for holding on Crosby. It is kind of a ticky tacky call, but this was a "make up call" for the last 20 periods of hockey they have let Gill molest Crosby.

6:50/6:51 Malkin has back to back slap shots that are saved by Halak. (The crowd is going nuts.)

8:40 The Pens played their first PP line for the full 2 minutes of the man advantage in desperation. (Other than game 5, this is the first time Pittsburgh has showed any desperation in the playoffs. This was the turning point of the game though.) Montreal makes a push and forces a tired line to play defense for another 15 seconds until...

8:58 Pens finally clear the zone, while lazily changing lines, it happens. TOO MANY MEN ON THE ICE.
(We now have 11 minutes left, and the Pens are going on the penalty kill for the worst possible reason. If it would have been a big hit or a fight, this gives them momentum. But an undisciplined penalty from a tired shift just kills them.)

10:00 Montreal gets traffic in front and makes a great play. Brian Gionta pops one in from the left side and it is a 3 goal lead again for Montreal.

15:31 Pens get another PP, and for the next 2 minutes the Pens launch pucks at the net, but nothing gets past Halak. We are now at 17:31 as the penalty ends and this is no longer a feasible come back.

We watch the last 2:30 of hockey ever to be played at Mellon Arena with a sinking feeling in our stomachs. "Is this really how it is going to end? This bad?" The pucks passes up and down the ice and the Pens get nailed for another too many men on the ice penalty.

19:56 Pascal Dupuis slaps an 80 ft slap shot saved by Halak and with 4 seconds left it is officially over.

Now all we can look for is our campaign to have Jean Claude Van Dame be the one to push the button to implode Mellon-Civic Arena.

Wirtings on the Reg/ Drive for .500

After defeating the Cubs last night, they Pirates are still tyring to right the ship after an ass whooping they recieved since my last post. In the next 7 games, they lost all 7 by a combined 72-12. Did I curse them. No, they just suck.

They did however pull themselves together enough to win at Milwaukee for the first time in almost 2 years. Then flew to LA, took the first game but got rock for the last 3 of the 4 game series again the Dodgers. They have won the last 2 nights, and their pitching is starting to show signs of life. Lets hope they can keep it together.

Fun Facts:
1) The Pirates are a -86 run differntial this year. The worst in the MLB bt 35 runs.
2) No team other than the Cardinals has a winning record in the NL Central.
3) The Cardinals the the largest lead in the majors of second place( 4 game)
4) Andrew McCutchen has only 1 stolen base in the last 12 games.
5) Garrett Jones has only 1 HR and 11 RBI since April 7.
6) Jones is batting .333 batting 3rd, but .218 batting 4th.

Pirates record: 12-15

Wins needed for 81: 69

Amount I am drinking the Pirates Kool-aid: 7%

The drive for .500

In order for the Pittsburgh Pirates to break the longest streak of consecutive loosing season in professional sports history, they need to win at least 81 games. They have started the season 7-5 after sweeping the Cincinnati Reds in a 3 game home series. They currently have the best home record in the NL (5-1). They are last in several statistics because they are inconsistent. (have been outscored by 22 runs; bottom half in many offensive and defensive categories.) When they loose, they get blown out. When they win, they win close.

The last few years, the Pirates managed to start the season pretty decent. Usually flirting with a winning record. However, eventually they would hit a wall and loose 25 of 30 or so. If they can manage to avoid having a terrible month like that, they can make it to 81 wins. Let me explain:

As of this post, they have 7 wins. They need 74 more wins out of 150 game to finish at .500. The were great at home last year until they self destructed. As I stated before, they were 28-17 at home as of August 1 last year. They finished 12-24 at home to close out the year though. The 28-17 record was a .622 winning percentage. If they can manage to win 45 of their remaining 75 home games (.600), they will finish with a 50-31 record at home.

All they will need to do is find a way to win 31 roads games then and we get to 81. At this point they are 2-4 on the road. They need to win 29 of the remaining 75 road games or just a .387 winning percentage. They have 44 of those 75 games against the worst 7 teams in the NL (Mets, Nationals, Brewers, Cubs, Reds, Astros and Padres). Pittsburgh cannot seem to beat the Brewers, but lets just do the math for now. Milwaukee already is having pitching issues this year, and is currently 5-7 after dropping 2 of 3 to Washington. If Pittsburgh can go .454 in that span of 44 they will win 20 games. This means they will need to win 9 of the remaining 31 games (.290) on the road against the rest of the NL, and their interleague games against the Tigers, Ranger's and A's.

This is not unreasonable. The biggest downfall every year has been that they trade away their best players and self destruct shortly after. This year they don't have any stars to trade away other than McCutchen. If they can manage to keep him, call up Perdo Alvarez and get thier pitching on track, they have a real shot at this.

Writings on the Reg' 4/15

Today is tax day. If you haven't filed your taxes by today you are lazy and pathetic. On to sports.

The Pirates are playing a sea-saw season so far. At 4-5 they seem to win one, loose one. They have a day off for travel back home and have series against Cincinnatti and Milwaukee. They are good at home so they could win 4 of 6.

Fun Facts
1. Pittsburgh is last in the NL in almost every pitching statistic this year
1a. They are last in both the NL and MLB in ERA
2. The Pirates lead the NL in stolen bases (10)
2a. Andrew McCutchen leads the NL in steals (5)
3. Pittsburgh has been outscored by 26 runs so far this year.
4. In their 5 losses this year, Pittsburgh has lost by a combined score of 49-12.
5. Last year, on August 1st, the Pirates beat the Nationals at home, making their home record 28-17 at that point.
6. After that, they went 12-22 at home.
7. Pittsburgh went 22-58 on the road last year.

Current Record: 4-5

# wins needed to get to .500: 77

Garret Jones update:
9 games:
242 avg; 3 HRs; 8 RBI
.375 OBP
.545 SLG
.920 OPS

Major drop off in the numbers. Since hitting his 3rd homerun of the year in his first AB of the 2nd game, Jones has gone 5 for 28 (.178) with 1 double, 6 BB and 2 RBI. (.323 OBP; .353 SLG; .676 OPS) Not the numbers you need coming out of your #3 hitter. He is supposed to be the best hitter on the team.

Amount I am drinking the juice..... 3%

NHL Playoff preview

The NHL playoffs start tomorrow, and for the 3rd consecutive year, the Pittsburgh Penguins have the #4 seed in the Eastern Conference. A few months ago they seemed destined for the 2 seed, but stumbled down the stretch. Will they have enough to make another playoff run to the finals?

I hate to say it but I have to say no. On February 18th last year, they were 27-25-6 and in 10th place in the East before changing coaches to Dan Blysma. The Penguins then proceeded to go 18-3-3 and entered the playoffs as the hottest team in the NHL. They rode that momentum all the way to the Stanley Cup championship. They just don't seem to have that same spark this year.

This year, Marc-Andre Fleury resorted to his old ways of inconsistency. He can play unbelievable 1 night, then terrible the next. Nothing showed this more than the shootout loss to Washington on March 24. Fleury played great for the entire game and the first 2 rounds of the shootout building a 2 goal lead. He then gave up 3 goals on 3 straight shots and the Pens only managed to leave with 1 point.

Last years hero, Art Ross and Con Smythe trophy winner Evgeni Malkin, has been quiet this year as well. He only played in 67 games this year and managed only 77 points. The one bright spot is that he managed 4 points (2G, 2A) on Sunday against the Islanders. It is a shame because Sidney Crosby is having the best scoring year of his career, tallying 51 this year and tying Steven Stamkos for tops in the NHL. He managed to finish with 109 points (51G, 58A) this year, 3 points behind Vancouver's Henrik Sedin for the NHL lead.

The question will now be whether or not Pittsburgh can put it all together and make a strong push towards the cup. They did get a good draw in the first round against Ottawa. The Senators have been up and down all year, but good as of late. Pittsburgh has much better depth, especially up the middle and match up well against them. This is the perfect chance for them to get everything right and get the team on the same page.

The biggest obstacle for Pittsburgh will be potential road series against Washington, New Jersey and Buffalo. Pittsburgh finished the year 0-8-2 against Wash and NJ, and was also 0-3-1 against the top 4 teams in the West. That does not look good heading into the later rounds of the playoffs.

Crosby is known to rise to the occasion in big games, and has been a force this year. The only way Pittsburgh can repeat as Stanley Cup champions is with increased play by their other 2 big stars, Fleury and Malkin. Fleury has been very solid in the playoffs the last 2 years and will need to be at his best this year. Malkin was a ghost in the 2008 Stanley Cup playoffs and pulled a disappearing act in the Olympics this past February. He will need to return to his form from last year, where he won the Con Smythe and lead the league in playoff scoring.

Writings on the Reg' 4/8

Welcome back to the Writings on the Reg. A weekly look at all things going on in the world of sports and beyond.

Writing this while watching Pirates-Dodgers on ESPN.com on a 60 second auto refresh I came to a conclusion. I don't know whether I am ready for a good baseball team in Pittsburgh, and I don't think the Pirates are either. Instead of making the decision to build the team with quality young players, they did what they always do. They went out and spent money on mediocre aging players to try to temporarily fill holes in the line-up. They spent $6M on a 36 year old closer (Octavio Dotel) and $5.3M on a 30 year old back-up shortstop (Bobby Crosby). By they way, they are their 2 highest paid players.

The correct way to build a team ,the way the Tampa Bay Rays were able to build an AL Pennant winning team, is with youth and a good farm system. The Pirates have neither.

There is only 1 marquee player in their farm system, 3B Pedro Alvarez. (Expect him to be called up shortly after June 1 if not earlier) Other than that, they do not have a player worth putting hope into the future with. Every year the Pirates make trades to try to get "prospects" and they seem to miss every time. Jeff Karstens was supposed to be a great prospect of a pitcher from the Yankees. In his second start with the Pirates he threw a 1 or 2 hitter. He is now in the minors.

Lets take a look at the other big problem, age. The pirates roster looks like a Dave Matthews Band crowd.

Player ages:
1B - Jeff Clement (26)
2B - Akinori Iwamura (31)
2B - Delwyn Young (27)
SS - Ronny Cedeno (27)
SS - Bobby Crosby (30)
3B - Andy Laroche (26)
OF- Garrett Jones (28)
OF - Lastings Milledge (25)
OF - Andrew McCutchen (23)
OF - Ryan Church (31)
C - Ryan Doumit (29)


Only Milledge and McCutchen are under the age of 26!! If you are building a franchise, you need young talent. Players start coming into their prime at 26, 27, 28. All of these players are peaking or have peaked. The only saving grace is if their starting rotation can pull it together this year and throw all season like they did in the first few months of 2009.

Player ages:
SP - Zach Duke (26)
SP - Paul Maholm (27)
SP - Ross Ohlendorf (27)
SP - Charlie Morton (26)
SP - Daneil McCutchen (27)

Duke, Maholm and Ohlendorf have had time to throw and develop. If they can continue to grow and improve, the Buccos have a shot at 81 wins this year.

Record: 2-1

Remaining wins for .500: 79

One other thing about this season is Garrett Jones. I am not convinced yet. As I pointed out above, he is an aging player. He just spent 6-8 years in the minors for a reason. His power came on as he got called up last year.

Current Stats
3 games:
.273 avg; 3 HRs; 6 RBI
.429 OBP
1.091 SLG
1.519 OPS

Off to a great start, but he went 0-3 today with 2 walks. Pitchers will start to throw around him due to lack of protection in the line-up.

Amount I am drinking the juice...10 %

The Greatest Hockey Game of My Lifetime

I was born in July of 1983. Therefore, I was not born yet when the "Miracle on Ice" occured on February 22, 1980. With that in mind, view my judgement as a collection of games for the last 26.5 years.

It is with out a doubt in my mind, yesterday's Gold Medal Olympic hockey game is the greatest hockey game ever. There was everything you could have wanted in the game. Drama; action; suspense; rivaly; big hits; big shots; big saves; an underdog; a home favorite; a late game tying goal; overtime. There really is not much else that could have been asked for from that game.

You could feel the intensity even in pregame. This game meant more to Canada, than any game has ever meant to that country. Chills run up and down the spine as you watch the insanity of cheers pour out of the Canadian home crowd. They NEEDED this game.

The collection of talent was a good as any NHL all-star game you will ever see. Each team suited 23 players, and all of them were NHL stars. Canada had 9 current NHL captains, and 2 former captains. The difference with this game over all-star games, is usually they are only playing as an exhibition. No one defends, no one cares who wins, and the final score ends up somewhere around 13-11. This was a complete 180 from that.

Canada started out strong. Making big pushes into the zone with strong forechecking and agressive defense at mid-ice. With a 1-0 lead after the first intermission, they continued to outplay the Americans. Once Canada made it 2-0 you could almost feel the earth shake with how crazy the crowd was going... this was only the beginning.

USA drew a penalty and had a perfect chance to get on the board and make this a 1 point game. Canada dominated them and the puck lasted in the zone for only seconds at a time before it was cleared back down behind American goalie Ryan Miller. Once the penatly ends USA looks drained. Canada took advantage and made a push, but Ryan Miller made a great save. USA rode the momentum and finally got past goalie Roberto Luongo. USA dominated play for the remaining 7 minutes of the period, but trainled 2-1 after 2.

As the 3rd peroid wore on you could feel the air being sucked out of the room as the Canadian fans began to worry. Canada's Sindey Crosby had a chance to ice the game on a breakaway with under 4 minutes to go. However, he was unable to be able get a good shot off and could not convert. Everyone knew Team America had the momentum and enough talent to score the goal to tie the game, it was just a question of whether or not there would be enough time. Sure enough, USA pulled Ryan Miller in favor of the extra attacker and Zach Parise scored with only 24 seconds left.

At this point, we already had the best 2 teams in the world, playing into overtime with a goal in the last 30 seconds to tie the game. The puck traveled up and down the ice with great plays and great saves to keep the game alive. 7:40 into the overtime Crosby takes a pass of the boards from teamate Jarome Iginla and quickly shoots it under the legs of Ryan Miller to end the game. Canada wins gold!

There was significant pressure on Canada to win gold in the Olympic Hockey Tournament hosted in their home country. After Canada lost to USA on the previous weekend, it cost them a first round bye. Canada had to beat Russia, Solvakia and USA to take the gold and did it. It ended with the best player in the world, beating the best goalie in the world, in the biggest hockey game in the world on the biggest stage in the world... in overtime. That gives us the greatest hockey game of my lifetime.

Super Bowl Preview

First off, I would like to point out (because I am a prick) how close I was on the Championship Weekend predictions.
Jets @ Colts
Mine: 27-10 Colts
Actual: 30-17 Colts

Vikings @ Saints
Mine: 31-27 Saints
Actual: 31-28 Saints

Ok. I just had to get that out of my system. Lets take an advanced look at what should be an awesome Super Bowl.

6:25 EST
New Orleans Saints: 15-3 vs. Indianapolis Colts: 16-2 (-5)
Outlook: It doesn't take Tom Jackson to figure out that this will be a high scoring game. Both teams are elite at QB and have tons of weapons to get the ball to.
Biggest question mark: How much blitzing will Greg Williams do?
Drew Brees is good against be blitz but Manning is better. Brees also can be rattled by a good defense end (see Ware, DeMarcus). The Saints don't have an elite 4 man rush so they will need to bring 5-6 players consistently. Manning eats up the blitz better than any QB in the NFL though (see Jets, New York)
Key Matchup #1: Jonathan Stinchcomb vs Robert Mathis
With Freeney's looming ankle injury, it will be up to Robert Mathis to aplly pressure on Brees and squeeze the pocket. No one in the NFL is better at stepping up in the pocket and making throws than Brees. Also, New Orleans will attempt to run underneath the speed rushing Mathis, and Stinchcomb will need to push him around.
Key Matchup #2: Peyton Manning vs. Darren Sharper
2 of the best at their position in the NFL in a non-stop chess match that will last all game. Sharper is known for his ability to read quarterbacks and ball hawk as good as anyone. Peyton Manning is Peyton Manning. However, keep in mind that Manning threw 16 INTs the season and was intercepted twice by Ed Reed in the Divisional Round win over Baltimore (only 1 couted, the other was called back by a penalty). If Manning can keep Sharper guessing wrong and get behind him, goodnight.
Possible deciding factor #1: Special Teams
Pop quiz: Who is the kick and punt returner for Indianapolis?? Now how about New Orleans???
Yeah. New Orleans definitely has the advantage here. Despite his short comings as an every down back, Reggie Bush is explosive when you give him space (i.e. punt return). In week 16, Brad Smith of the jets took a kick return 106 yards and set an NFL record. If New Orleans can swing field position in their favor, or take one back, they will have a lot better chance of winning.
Possible deciding factor #2: The Final Countdown
There were no teams better in the last 2 minutes of each half of putting points on the board then Indy and N.O., nor were there 2 better QBs than Manning and Brees. This game has the "team to score last wins" tag written all over it.
Prediction: Saints 34-30; I just have this feeling that the Saints will ride the energy of this game early and jump out to a 24-10 lead at the half. Manning is the best at adjusting in the NFL. Down 30-27 with a hair over 2 minutes left, Brees will rally and score a TD to win 34-30 and give the city of New Orleans a well deserved Super Bowl.
MVP: Brees 27-38 362 yrds 3 TDs

Last Week:
line 1-1
picks 2-0

Playoffs:
line 1-5
picks 4-2

Tebow to provide greatest Super Bowl Halftime ever

MIAMI, FL -
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell seemed to not have done his research before he made his decision on the Super Bowl Halftime Show this year. If you have not heard, The Who will be preforming at Halftime of Super Bowl XLIV this Sunday. Goodell thought this choice would manage to follow the theme that the NFL has followed since the infamous Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" of Super Bowl XXXVIII of "safe" and "conservative". What Goodell didn't realize is that Pete Townshend of The Who was on the "Watchdog" list for the UK for 5 years from 2003-2008, due to child pornography being found on his computer. Townshend claimed it was in research of a book he was doing. Now, a local child advocacy group is passing out fliers among 1,500 homes near Dolphin Stadium to warn the local people of an arrested pedophile being there. In light of the situation, Roger Goodell has decided to change his plans for the Super Bowl Halftime Show.

The new plan is to highlight someone that has not received enough media attention, Tim Tebow. Tebow spent all of last week at the Senior Bowl practices, showing of his skills for NFL scouts. Despite already being claimed as a saint in the state of Florida, some critics feel he does not have all the necessary skills to play as a pro QB. One team scout said, "Tim reads defenses slower than a 2-year would read The Wallstreet Journal... cover to cover."

In order to shed some positive light on Tebow, the NFL thought it could show his other attributes in order to increase his likeliness of being drafter early. Tebow had planned to have a anti-abortion commercial shown during the Super Bowl, but several liberal groups are STRONGLY urging CBS not to show it. Since the commercial might not air, the NFL jumped into action. Goodell said, "He (Tebow) is a fan favorite and the media orgasms every time they talk about him. We need to keep him relevant as long as possible. His college skills have little to no transfer ability into the NFL, so we hope to fool a bad GM into drafting him in the 1st or 2nd round. That way we will be able to get plenty of media attention going his way."

Goodell claims that the goal of the halftime show is to "Show off all of the other skills Tebow has that have nothing to do with being an NFL QB". It is scheduled to include an interpretive dance to show off Tim's intangibles, him reading a children's book to kids to show his ability to read a defense, a live circumcision of a Haitian refugee to show good hands, and then Tebow will instruct a group of boy scouts on how to tie knots to show is amazing leadership skills.

In an exclusive interview with an enthusiastic Tebow, he stated, "Yeah this should be great. I hope after I finish this presentation, scouts will be able to look past my awful footwork, atrocious mechanics and delivery, and my terrible accuracy. I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this. You will never see a person in the country work as hard as I will on this. You will never see someone push those kids to tie knots during this competition as hard as I will. God bless."

Anti-Farve fan found higher than kite: Tebow news ended it.

OIL CITY, PA -
Jason Rogers, 26, of Oil City was found dead Tuesday in his home at 10:46am EST. Police were call to his house after a 911 call was made by friend Greg Watson, stating that Rogers stopped talking mid-conversation. Watson states that it sounded as if Rogers stopped breathing for about a minute, then the phone hit the floor and Watson heard Rogers give out a loud sigh. Watson proceeded to call several times to ensure Rogers was ok.


Further police investigation revealed the following:

Watson received a text message from his friend Jason Rogers at 2:24pm EST on Sunday saying "I hope that ---hole Favre end his 3rd straight season with a pick and ruins it for his team, again." Watson shook it off saying "Jason was a renowned Farve-hater even since his first fake retirement after the end of the 2008 NFC Championship game.

"(Rogers) used to go on and on about how much he hated all the media exposure that Farve would get. We used watch SportsCenter religiously every day to soak up as much football info as we could. But once all the Farve loving went down, he hasn't been the same" says Watson. "He reached the point where he would either leave the room, or go on a 5 minute rant every time he saw anything involving Favre."

editors note:

Brett Favre is the Quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings. Favre has gone back and forth about returning to play in the NFL for the past 2 years. He had left he previous 2 teams, the Green Bay Packers and New York Jets, on bad terms. Farve has received a significant amount of media exposed since he initially began speaking of retiring 24 months ago. He threw an interception to end the season each of the previous 2 seasons, ending things for his team as well. Sunday night in the NFC Championship game, Farve threw an interception that eliminated his team, the Minnesota Vikings, from being able to attempt a game winning field goal. The Vikings never touched the ball again, and lost to the New Orleans Saints 31-28 in overtime.

"Upon seeing the result of the game, it appears he(Rogers) went into a state of euphoria" states Dr. Gomez of St. Joseph's Presbyterian Hospital "He was so pleased with the result, that his mind could not comprehend whatever had taken place." After Rogers did not show up for work Monday, Watson was given a phone call from a fellow employee of Roger's. Watson again tried to reach Rogers but was unsuccessful.

"Tuesday Morning around 10:30, I tried calling him(Rogers) one additional time. He finally answered" said Watson. "He said he had been on such a 'high' from the result of yet another Farve disaster, he could not function. He said 'I was so happy that ********er got what he had coming, and the media can go **** themselves.'"

I asked Watson to continue, but he was unable to hold back tears and asked to be excused. Investigating Officer Gates, who took Watson's statement, said "Rogers continued with 'The only thing in the world that could make me happier, is if Tim Tebow is failing at Senior Week and NFL scouts are loosing faith'. Tebow is struggling with footwork, mechanics and accuracy. Watson then proceeded to update Rogers on the situation. This lead to Rogers going into a state of ecstasy that he could not recover. He had a stroke, brain aneurysm and went into cardiac arrest simultaneously. He died instantly."