The Drinking Decathlon

In the constant search for reasons to drink, my trusty associate and I have gathered together a list of 10 drinking events to create the ultimate 10 event drinking extravaganza. I understand that there are other "Drinking Decathlons" out there; however, those are designed as humor. This is something to actually be attempted.

Each event will run in succession. There are not points awarded to individual event winners, they are simply run one after another. Winner will be the first to finish all 10 events. These events are run up against what the actual events in the Olympic Decathlon and the order they are done. Medals and cash earnings can be spread amongst the top 3 as they see fit.

1) Actual event: 100 M dash Drinking event: 12 ounce beer chug
One full can of beer is to be poured into a 16oz Solo plastic cup. The competitor will have to drink the full beer without spilling, then place the empty cup upside down on the top of their head to ensure they was no cheating. They will need to then proceed to the next event.

2) Actual event: Long Jump Drinking event: Jager Bomb
A pre-poured shot of Jager is to be dropped into a glass with a full Red Bull. The competitor must finish the entire drink, then proceed to the next event.

3) Actual event: Shot Put Drinking event: Beer pong
The competitor will line up at the end of the table with 3 cups in a triangle shape at the other end of table. These cups will be filled to regulation line. 3 additional cups will sit in front of competitor with beer filled up to regulation line. After each shot, the competitor must retrieve own ping pong ball. For every shot made, competitor must finish equal to cup in front of them. There is no additional people at the table other than referee. The competitor will proceed to the next event once all the cups have been eliminated.

4) Actual event: High Jump Drinking event: Quarters
The competitor will 2 prefilled shot glasses and with the standard .75 oz of liquor in it. Next to it will be 3 empty shot glasses. The competitor will need to drink 1 of the 2 shots of liquor to start. They will then bounce a quarter off the table and into 1 of the empty shot glasses. Then continue to shoot into the glass until they have made it in. Once the quarter is in the glass, they will need to remove the quarter and turn over the shot glass. They will then repeat with the remaining 2 shot glasses. Glasses cannot be stacked to count as multiples. The competitor will then need to consume the remaining shot glass of liquor. They will then proceed to the next event.

5) Actual event: 400 M dash Drinking event: Flip cup
3 cups will sit on the edge of table with regulation amount of beer in it. The competitor must drink all beer in cup. Then they must place cup open end down and flip 1 full rotation to land on the open end again. They must complete each cup individually before they move onto the next one. Once all 3 cups are sitting open end down on the table, the competitor can proceed to the next event.

6) Actual event: 100 M hurdles Drinking event: Tray race
There will be a prefilled ice cube tray, filled with mix of alcohol and an additional liquid to dilute(i.e. juice, soda). The competitor must use a straw and consumer the liquid in each compartment. They must empty each compartment before they can move onto the next one. One full side must be completed before they can attempt the opposite side. The competitor may not rotate the tray once they have begun. Once the entire tray is empty, the will proceed to the next event.

7) Actual event: Discus Drinking event: Dizzy bat
There will be 2 stations set up 20 feet apart. At each station will be 1/2 beer poured into a plastic cup and a whiffle ball bat. The competitor will start at 1 end, place the bat with 1 tip on the ground and the other against their forehead. They will then spin around 5 times, stand up, and drink the beer in the cup. Next, they run the 20 feet to the other station and repeat. Once they have consumed the second cup, they will run back to the original station and proceed to the next event.

8) Actual event: Pole Vault Drinking event: Beer Bong
1 full 12oz beer is to poured into the beer bong after the competitor has reached the event. The entire beer must be consumed. There can be no more than 1oz of foam remaining. They will then proceed to the next event.

9) Actual event: Javelin Drinking event: Shotgun
The competitor will take an unopened 12oz beer can and cut a small hole in the bottom of the can. They will then open the valve at the top of the beer, place there mouth over the hole at the bottom and drink the full beer. Once it is consumed the competitor will move onto the final event.

10) Actual event: 1500 M run Drinking event: 4 beer race
The competitor will be required to consume 4 beers in sequence. They may not use any additional equipment to consume the beverage beyond the can of beer itself. Once all 4 beers have been consumed, the competition is over.

Once the person is done with this, they will have put down 15 drinks. I figure for the average time to be approximately 3 hours. It will not be easy, but anything worth doing is worth doing right.