My wish list

Being that today is my dad's birthday, that means it is only 5 days until mine occurs on Sunday. Therefore, I decided to post what my wishlist to the world is. They have 5 days to comply with my demands:

1) I wish that outdoor parties were more socially acceptable. By outdoor I mean block parties and drinking at parks. I know there are assholes that have managed to ruin it for the rest of the modern world by public fighting, littering and of course destruction of public property. Can you come up with anything more fun than getting a bunch of friends, a bunch of booze, cornhole/ladderball/horseshoes and a grill??
2) I wish there was standardized birth control. Too many people that should not be reproducing are.
3) I wish that the NFL decides to stop fining every player for nothing.
4) I wish the NFL's off-field discipline policy would be more concrete. The fact that people are still talking about Micheal Vick and Plaxico Burress possibly ending up on teams this fall makes me sick.
5) I wish Chad Johnson would go back to being Chad Johnson.
6) I wish I didn't pay out 27% of my salary to taxes.
7) I wish they would completely eliminate all reality TV. It has run its course.
8) I wish people like Perez Hilton, Heidi and "whatever the fuck his name is", John and Kate, and Nicole Ritchie would just disappear. You are famous for NO REASON and noone cares about you anymore.
9) I wish Broken Lizzard would make another movie as good as "SuperTroopers"
10) I wish the X-Men movies would have been better... and Gambit would have been in it from the start.
11) I wish flavored vodka didn't taste so good. It is ending my life 1 shot at a time.
12) I wish the BCS would turn into an 12 team tournament.
13) I wish swearing wasn't considered bad. If you can't handle adult language, you are obviously not an adult
14) I wish there were more BYOB bars. I would be fun to roll into a bar with 3 bottles and just get wrecked.
15) I wish I could quit you Taint
16) I wish traveling didn't cost so much.
17) I wish I could control what shows were aired on television. There is WAAAAAAAYYY too much shitty programming out there.
18) I wish freecreditreport.com, godaddy.com, most car companies, Viagara/Cialis, and Flomax would stop making commercials.
19) I wish they would keep making versions of Seen-It movies... like once every 6 months.
20) I wish the Pirates would stop trading away what little talent they have
21) I wish Skip Bayless would get punched in the face on television and thrown off of ESPN
22) I wish Brett Farve would just retire and let us get back to hearing actual news about the NFL.
23) I wish the media would stop acting like John Madden ever was a good announcer. He will always be remembered for the video game and nothing else.
24) I wish cable television was cheaper.
25) I wish the following TV shows would make a movie or another movie:
-Family Guy
-South Park
-24
-Burn Notice
-Arrested Development (there is one in the works, but I am still requesting)
-MacGyver
26) I wish they would stop taking old songs and having someone cover them.
27) I wish American Pie and National Lampoon's would stop making movies.
28) I wish people would just admit that Vince Young is a HUGE bust
29) I wish that the NHL will continue its comeback into mainstream media.
30) I wish NASCAR would go away.
Thank you for your consideration for my wish list. I expect all 30 to be completed by 12:00am EST Sunday